All the noise takes up space,
Leaving no room to hear
The sound of my own voice.
It’s already quiet enough;
Measured against the loudest
Talkers and singers. I am a mouse.
My thoughts shrivel and die
In the crowded room. No one notices.
Too crowded, I feel as if
I’m sinking into a crawl space;
With the music drumming my ears loose
And chattering growing around me
Like invasive moss.
The mess of conversation makes
My teeth throb and I melt
Into the coldest sweat.
Although, it feels like I’m being tossed
In a stainless steel frying pan.
The open flame blinds me—
There’s tunnel vision.
I can’t see. What did you say?
My soul is trying to leave
My paralyzed body behind.
“Just crawl out when you can!”
It can’t abandon me just yet.
We’re tethered.
How dare it try to leave me alone.
And I still think, hopeful,
Maybe next time won’t be as bad.