Andi Leigh Writes

I feel the fog will set in. Taking my heart into dirt, Out of sight. Mixed with earth I’ll doze. Then through young roots Of chicory, my veins will grow. And with thick clouds I’ll pray for rain. And wish to fill into myself, Maybe this time, even wholly.

Rattled down to Weary night. Traveled through Basking plight. Dreamy pitch, Nowhere now. Sunshine eye, Take a bow. Empty cup With dusty grin, Waltzing by bludgeoned sin.

Bloodied on broken nails. Amass duress hammered in, And long mornings seem long When the sun sleeps on. But may I sleep? Oh, no. Must walk more along Wistful dull pins, picking away At fragments of comfort. An unruly chain Of how mornings begin. And I’ve not a drop Of coffee.

Can we sit here and think Of things not hateful? To think of things uplifting, Is it so much to ask? But there are those Who ponder on, wasting Dribble, frothing At the mouth; one Who speaks to burn. Such urge to wreck And silence The comforting voices Of ones with understanding.

Do you know the postman? Has he been on by? With a bag of letters That says when you will die. No, he’s not the normal man Who brings the mail around. This postman is a shadow And floats inches off the ground. He delivers pretty parchment With fresh wax seals. He’ll leave it on your doorstep Then turn on his heels. So if you see this postman There’s nothing you can do. He’ll only give the letter, He won’t actually harm you. But are you brave to open The post that tells your doom? I’m sure the postman understands That he dispatches gloom.

I found a little black puppy, His eyes were deep red. They oddly glowed hot Right from his head! He howled and snarled All through the night, He’d set fires whenever He sensed my delight. Sometimes I’d find him Walking right up the wall. He’ll float in the kitchen, Or transform the hall Into a horrid corridor Made of melting skin. I think he’s from hell. Maybe I shouldn’t have Taken this puppy in.

Cracking my knuckles, A tear appears in my skin. And spiders emerge.

A wondrous little knife, With a bewildering little blade. It rests in my palms as I try To stay awake. Since I cannot sleep, since I know I’m not alone. Little knife in my hand Shall protect my bartered soul. A deal is a deal? Can’t nearly fulfill. I never should have rolled The damn dice; I’m not thrilled. I must stay wide awake, in the Dark corner of the room. With great hope this dagger Will defend… I assume.

Blink once and see me. A faded image hiding Behind graveyard trees.

I stare up at the ceiling, Where the ceiling meets the wall. And empty out my thoughts That have such a putrid gall. Spinning them into a web That I hope to leave behind. But those words will never leave, Never falter, always entwined. But I can still imagine them Pinned up and on display. Then think about a feather duster Sweeping the webs away.

Step into my shoes and tell me What you think I’ll want to hear. Not truly understanding such Agony I’m forced to feel. Step into my shoes and don’t Summon any effort to walk. Then wonder why I stay inside, Kept under inflexible lock.

You took my hand and led me To my unexpected grave. Telling me it wasn’t your doing, But unfortunately my own. Though I fail to see the path Where I dawdled to silent crypt. Especially since your thoughtful Arm pulled me along the way.

In his head, he cries. He wouldn’t dare Show it on the outside. Trauma stored behind Societal bricks. Don’t dare shed tears, Or else be fixed. Experiencing emotion Anyway, even so. Better to let Sensations go.

Rain, please wash away The memories of ailing. Douse me with repair.

I’ll jump in the lake, Feeling the pull of drowning. Yet, I float back up.

Sit by the rainy window and Sip a mug of tea. While thinking about The sorrow On the other side. A cushion all around, As long as one stays put. Look through the rainy window And be grateful For the hot mug in hand.

Feel the heart shake in hand, Holding that forgiving beat. Eyes are pained with rejection And this is known all too well. Without regard of fragility, Without a slight sense of care, Lost it in the freshwater waves; Entrusted and then lost among Hungry minnows, nibbling away.

What is even here? Here without a friend. Crashed through broken bottles. Without love to spend. There are many secrets. Written down are many lies. Vultures crave convenience With their razored eyes.

Red nose, Swollen Dripping down. Buzzing sound. With dripping Sticky red. Screaming In your head. Black eyes, Puffy All the time. Purpled cheek, Never ever meek. Deserve this? Consequence Never missed.

Send me out to the sticks Where I can live alone. And worry not about visitors Creeping to my home. For I will set the traps, And they will run away. If they continue forward They will meet slow decay. A little hungry creature here Will hunt them in the wood. They will know to leave me be And know why they should.

Spread your heart and die. Spin a needle through the eye. And suffer the consequence Of knowing you will not be best. Then drown your lovesick soul. Bury knowledge of heckler’s goal.

Lovely Johanna, Look at me, dear. I can sense your hate. Your lack of fear. You can’t hold back, The brutal reaction, That draws a knife To my throat in Swift action. Johanna dear, You make me fear, That your bloodthirst Grows stronger and In your sneer, I see your truth. Your uncontrollable Need, to cut me open, To watch me bleed.

Blackbird, jet Far from here. Hurtle through Your inherent Reflection. And emerge on The other side, Soaring into a Secret sky.

Death will reach out one day. And when Death does, I’ll take her hand. She’s there to guide Not to damn. Her hand soft, A comfort in the inevitable. And we’ll walk on water, Together, without a chance Of sinking into the wasteland.

I stand above a wishing well And hurl my whispers down. Upon my head, sweet rosemary, Woven infinitely into a crown. Looking into the blackened waters, Not a cold response to my pleas. At least having the scented sprigs Places my thoughts at ease. And happy with what I have, Even something fragile and small. One day, it’ll rot and disappear, But will not cause my downfall.